Toxic Friendship

Hi guys, so today’s post will be on a more serious topic. Friendships , focusing more on toxic friendships. This thing didn’t happen recently but I am only comfortable to talk about it now. And unfortunately I have been in 2 friendships that I thought would last forever but ended up being toxic and dragged me down in every way like my personality, my mood and thoughts. The more recent friendship ended a while ago. I even tried to get that friendship back as it meant a lot to me and I was thinking of that friend a lot but when I tried to talked to that person , it didn’t work out. That person was toxic in every way. In terms of anger, attitude and the way that that person would put people down. In a way I am sad that it ended cause I thought after the first toxic friendship I would have better choice in friends. But mostly I am glad that that part of my life is over, it felt like a rock has lifted from my life and I can finally ‘breathe’. I can finally be myself again. Of course I am always myself when I’m with my family and Boyfriend but because of this Friend I felt like in front of my clique and classmates I can’t be myself as she would judge me and try to put me down. Maybe she didn’t do it purposely and she didnt realise it but it did hurt me in the long term, I felt like I scared to see her all the time and had to watch my mouth about what I say to her. While the first toxic friendship , I must say wasn’t really toxic but I felt like it didn’t benefit any of us. She was really kind and nice but cares too much about her extra activities, I mean everyone has different views so I’m not gonna say what’s wrong and what’s right. But it just felt like I was putting way more effort into the friendship than her. And after we went to different schools she even forgot about my birthday, maybe she was too busy with her extra activities but I was planning to surprise her at her school on her birthday but when she forgot about mine, I was devastated so I decided it was time – after about 4 years- to cut off this Friend from my life. I must say I do still think about her and what would life be if we both put in equal effort in this friendship. I must say – no regrets- my best friend is my Boyfriend and yes you might say I’m lonely but I’m happier this way. Ed Sheeran’s Happier is a good song !!   I still have a close Friend that I just met last year and I hope this friendship will really last, I can feel it she’s different! Anyways anyone reading this, if something doesn’t feel right do something about it! Don’t wait it out as it gets messier , when you want to finally end things and actually have nothing to say to each other.

Thanks for reading this Long ass post and I hope you learnt something! If not you can laugh at my luck with friends.

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